Muted Desires
by saiyuri-dahlia
Summary: It's best to be completely open with one another, especially with a relationship on the rocks, and as Kurama and Hiei will learn, keeping quiet will only lead to suffering and greater horrors. OOCKurama. Not my best, read my newer yaoi.


Story Title: Muted Desires

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH.

Author's Notes: Heh, my first yaoi (KuraHiei) …it's quite strange, this story. A lot of foul language and sexual references but it's not that bad. Kurama scares me in this…oops, mini-spoiler. Another mini-spoiler, I really feel sorry for putting Hiei through this…poor guy. Well, this is what I come up with when I listen to "Pain" by Three Days Grace, for hours on end, over and over. Bad part about it is that I'm a music empathetic…lol.

Story Title: Muted Desires

You don't always get what you want…the praise was the antithesis of Kurama's life. Well, he wasn't always _given_ what he wanted, but he always ended up with it by any means necessary in the end. The old thief guessed Lady Fortune was pissed at him for his "now you see it, now it's mine" skills, so she decided to crap all over his love life.

And what a stinking load that was.

For a few months with Hiei, everything was fine. About everyday, Hiei would come over, they'd talk, eventually make out, and like some cheap whore Kurama would end up on the bottom. At first Kurama didn't mind—anything that made Hiei happy was fine—but lately he was just "taking it" without getting anything back in terms of pleasure.

Hiei must have sensed his feelings and started coming less and less, and with each time, they talked and cuddled less and less. Just the other day, Hiei came, made a hand gesture which meant for Kurama to "get in position", and left without a thanks.

Kurama hated feeling cheap.

Wasn't he worth more than a hand gesture?

Kurama wasn't cheap.

And Hiei would definitely find that out.

As luck would bring, Hiei rapped his knuckles on his window. Kurama unfastened the lock.

"Why in the hell did you start locking it?" Hiei shot an annoyed glance at Kurama. "You don't want me over anymore?"

"It's nothing, Hiei," Kurama sighed and plopped down in a chair, "Mother must have locked it."

"Hmp." Liar, Hiei thought. He was standing on Kurama's bed. Biting his lip, Kurama stared at the brown stains Hiei's muddy shoes were tracking on his white bed sheet. "So why'd you call? Maybe I was busy."

Busy! I know what you were busy doing, the fox boy thought, you impatient little—

Kurama paused and took a deep breath to calm down,"Hiei, we need to talk."

The small fire demon rolled his eyes,"Great, let's talk…damn it, you're worse than a woman."

Like you've ever been with a woman, Kurama's glare read, "This is exactly WHY we need to talk. You're always so angry at me of lately. I do everything you ask of me…any position you wanted to try, I did even though I really didn't want to—"

"Exactly," Hiei interrupted. He jumped down to the floor, "You never question me or even raise an eyebrow. I snap, you get on your knees—I'm sick of it. I want a reaction. I don't want to feel like I'm fucking a corpse."

Kurama was stunned. He was the problem? Kurama was just trying to make him happy…maybe that was his problem…that he cared too much.

The fox boy crossed his legs and folded his arms over his chest, "Well, if you were getting bored, why didn't YOU get on the bottom?"

Hiei choked on his breath. Hiei's face glazed in shock, "Me? On the bottom? Hmp…never. You know what being on the bottom means…"

He sank deeper into his chair and shot a frigid glance. How dare he…"So what… I'm your bitch? You want me to be assertive but you still want me to receive. Make up your mind, Hiei."

For the longest time, Hiei stared at the floor. He didn't know what he wanted anymore. Hiei wanted Kurama to change, but those things he wanted different were the same things that attracted him to him. He was thinking about breaking up more and more, but here he was…back in Kurama's bedroom.

Hiei just wanted Kurama.

"I guess I've been a little unrealistic," Hiei begrudgingly mumbled.

Kurama smiled, "Apology accepted."

Hiei took off his muddy shoes and Kurama removed the stained bed sheet. Sitting on the bed, they sat and looked at one another. Tonight wasn't just going to be sex and a goodbye—tonight they'd start all over again to keep their love alive.

Kurama leaned in and kissed Hiei's lips. Gently, they pressed their lips together over and over. Hiei parted his mouth a bit—an invitation for Kurama's tongue. No, the fox shook his head. They always kissed that way—it was boring.

Kurama rested Hiei against his chest. He didn't seem to mind resting like a little boy. In fact it was nice to feel safe, to feel Kurama's chest rise and fall with each breath and to hear his heart beating, which Hiei found oddly comforting. At least, he knew he was still alive.

There was something different about Kurama. That something was both repulsed Hiei and riled his loins. A scent…coming from the fox boy's neck. It was beautiful but strong to the point of repugnance. Hiei found himself wanting closer and closer to Kurama's flesh.

With Hiei kissing his neck, Kurama cocked his head to one side, inviting Hiei to further kiss. They had never done this before. It was so wonderful to be in each other's arms again.

Stroking his tongue across, his skin had an odd sweet taste between the usual saltiness from sweat. Wanting more, Hiei opened his mouth wider. Kurama gently hummed, which made his throat vibrate, exciting Hiei even more. Rhythmically, he suckled, and with each draw, he intensified the strength.

It still wasn't enough.

But there was no way for Hiei to get closer. His heart pounding inside, the scent maddened him. It was a wicked, seductive temptation. More, he wanted more, but he started losing his grip, and the only way to hold his place was to sink in his teeth.

"Shit, Hiei," Kurama pushed him away and impulsively placed his hand on his neck. He drew in air filtered through his teeth. Hiei, having been pushed on his back, sat up. Taking his hand away, the fox's eyes sharpened into a hateful gaze. "God damn it, I'm bleeding. Learn some fucking control next time."

Kurama left the room. Down the hall to the bathroom, Hiei presumed. Licking his lips, the iron taste of blood slid down his throat. Never could do anything right, he guessed as he rose from the bed. The fire demon just wasn't good at relationships—it was a miracle he and Kurama were this far. Romance and sensuality were two words Hiei knew nothing about. They were just things he couldn't do without feeling awkward and making a mistake—like gnawing on his lover's neck. It was hard feeling like a stupid beast when he was with a suave romantic who deserved better than him.

Beasts should love beasts.

And princes should love princes.

Hiei turned toward the window. It was better this way…with Hiei returning to Makai and Kurama forgetting about him and finding a more fitting affection. It wouldn't take him long.

Something, a sense of dread, kept him in the room. There was some horrible thing wrong that kept him standing paralyzed. A faint whiff of a horrendous stench ran across his nose. So consumed by Kurama's flesh, he hadn't noticed it before. Now only sheer willpower held the contents of his stomach down from the noxious haze.

Creeping toward the closet, the source of the reek, his whole body screamed "Get out of there!", but too late, he was already too intrigued.

Slowly, he opened the creaking door. His eyes whitened in fear. A scream churned in his throat but so horrified at the grotesque sight, his scream remained inside rather than coming out.

Lying like a pile of dirty clothes, Kuwabara's bloody, decaying corpse sat in the closet. Through the eyes, ears, nostrils, and mouth, there were roses. Full red roses stained by the color of Kuwabara's blood. Hiei fell and crawled backward toward the bed in fear.

"What's wrong, Hiei?" Kurama, who was standing there the whole time, smirked. The fox boy had changed. His burning eyes flashed in rage. His teeth and fists were clenched tightly. But in his anger, he remained an icy, smoldering calm rather than enraged. "You think I wouldn't have found out, did you?" His words pierced like frozen daggers. "Figured I wouldn't suspect him, DID YOU?"

Hiei didn't know what to say. On the floor, he trembled as Kurama towered above him. It was an accident…Hiei wanted to say but that was no excuse. Alcohol was involved, but there wasn't, and Kurama would see right through him anyway. He confessed. Hiei, tired of Kurama's submission, found someone who fought back, who wasn't afraid of voicing his opinion.

He found Kuwabara.

Kurama paced around the room. His eyes watched Hiei through thin slits, "So what? Was he better than me? Huh? Or did you take it from him like you wouldn't for me?" Hiei opened his mouth to respond. "Fuck it, I don't want to know."

A burning sensation filled Hiei's mouth. Like acid eating away at his mouth, it spread rapidly and left wherever it came numb. Where had it come from? What was happening to him? He couldn't feel his jaw anymore. It hung open and nothing would force it shut, besides holding it.

Kurama wickedly grinned, "You look ridiculous holding your face like that. What's the matter? Can't feel it anymore?"

The fire demon's eyes grew wide. Something…Kurama did something to him. Why…how could he? It was a mistake. A one night mistake. Hiei would never hurt Kurama like this. How could he betray him?

His stomach moaned and flipped. Hiei spewed onto the carpet forming a wide puddle of spreading vomit. Uncaring, Kurama stood and did nothing.

"That's how you made my body feel," Kurama crouched down across from him. "How do you feel? Abused, disgusted, enraged, used, now you know. Hiei, I'm not your bitch. I'm not some pretty ass you can poke around in for kicks. I tried to love you, but all you wanted was sex, sex, sex…"

That wasn't true, Hiei wanted to say but physically couldn't. He loved Kurama…he just didn't know how to show it. Now because of his own incompetence and misunderstandings, he lay muted and burning from the inside and his once attentive lover was now a psychopathic monster.

"I loved you," Kurama was crying. "But I wasn't good enough…I poisoned my body with wolfbane of which I have grown immune. I planned this all, you know. You have minutes before you suffocate. Fine…I hope you find Hell a soothing place."

Kurama stood straight and turned his back on him. Struggling to hold his head up, Hiei's eyes grew dim and he collapsed as Kurama played with a rose in his hand.

The phone rang.

Kurama wiped his tears on his sleeve and answered it in a cheery, upbeat tone, "Oh Yusuke. No, I'm not doing anything right now. Go to a movie? Sure, I'll be there. Kuwabara? No, I haven't seen him. Wonder if he's okay…well, see you soon. Bye."

The fox boy couldn't look at the body—too soon and too painful. Going out with Yusuke would distract him, maybe they could get something to eat and hang out at his place for awhile.

As he walked out his door, Kurama threw the rose over his shoulder. It landed beside the body, almost brushing Hiei's face. It was still too soon, too painful for Kurama, walking with tears in his eyes.

He really thought Hiei was the one.

He was wrong.

Somewhere out there, someone would love him and stay true.

Kurama had to be patient—eventually he always got what he wanted.

--end "Muted Desires"

Author's Comments: I probably have a bunch of Hiei fans glaring at me…sorry (please have mercy on a creative soul, oh dragon lovers). I love Hiei too, so it sucked putting him through that. Damn, this is the first YYH story of mine that actually has Hiei in it and I abuse and kill him off. I better be nicer to him…other than that, I hope you enjoyed.

Oh and of those who are waiting for my Yusuke demon fic, I'm getting around to it…I've been wasting time for some reason.

And I don't think Hiei is in that one either…he is hard to work with into some of my ideas.

Small Typos changed.


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